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Hornchurch, Essex, United Kingdom
26 year old Theatre Person, who hopes to one day become a fully fledged lighting designer. Currently living and working in Hornchurch at the lovely Queens Theatre (yes i know that implies i live at the theatre, it's meant to).I'm a Traveller of many roads including Canada, Germany and Namibia. I love Reading, Dissecting Films, Writing Plays, Angleing Lights, Levelling Sounds, Creating Photographs (when drunk and sober) Playing Guild Wars/Sims 3 and going out with my friends! I have an unrivalled passion for Kimi Raikkonen and motor sports in general.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

First Sentence From the First Post of Every Month in 2006…

January: im reading this 100 things we didnt know last year, thing on the BBC and here are my favourites :

February: im very sorry i dont update this as much as i used to but i am a busy buny.

March: k so emily has found a website that lets her upload her videos eheheheh. here they r :) well some of them, takes a while to upload them lol.

April: am very unhappy. i sat here for 2 hours refreshing a stupid webpage trying to get my Reading tickets.

May: i just thought id better post cos ive been a lazy cow lol.

June: sorry its the essex.. and i havnt updated even tho im at home with nothing to do because ive been filing my lil ass off for the last 4 days.

July: lets all kill ronaldo let all kill ronaldo na na na na, da na na na.

August: Guido, he fix....

September: reading festival was so very very awesome me n padge had a wicked time n weirdly enough i had a wicked time with jodie n martin collins who used to be my next door neighbours obviously they didnt talk to me as i was younger than everyone by about 5 years n they were all so in awe of my sister (who did not like me at all then) they didnt really talk to me.

October: hows it goin eh? im gravy went to canterbury for the weekend
n now im ill with some kind of chest infection!

November: aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

im like so old its insane! lol also im wearing a lot of grey today, i dunno why but hey grey is a good colour!

December: went home for the weekend which was cool altho my leaving did seem to spark a certain person into revealing how she thinks of me which was nice, well not nice it gave me a very unpleasant trainride home but im sure she thought about that before she did it.

so..... apparently i spend a lot of time at the beginning of the month moaning that i havn't posted enough lol


I've done 102 out of the 132 stupid things.

Do this and repost it with the title:
I've done -- out of the 132 stupid things.

Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Smoked A Cigar
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex [Goal celebrations count!]
(x) Drank Alcohol


Level 2
(x) Shoplifted
( ) Been Fired [Being made redundant isn't the same!]
(x) Been Dumped
(x) Been In A Fist Fight


Level 4
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped School
(x) Slept With A Co-worker
( ) Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 10

Level 5
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
(x) Been To Paris
(x) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
(x) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 15

Level 6
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook
(x) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 18

Level 7
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Love/loved Someone Who You Can't Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel


Level 8
(x) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding
(x) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 26

Level 9
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledging
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 31

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
(x) Sent a letter by post to yourself

SO FAR: 33

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
( ) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 36

Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 39

Level 13
(x) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 41

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
(x) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 45

Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 49

Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 54

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 57

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Father Christmas
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or anywhere

SO FAR: 62

Level 19
(x) Crashed A Party
(x) Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey(?)

SO FAR: 66

Level 20
(x) Worn Pearls (pearl necklace count)
() Jumped Off A Bridge
( x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
(x) Ridden an elephant

SO FAR: 69

Level 22
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 71

Level 23
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(x) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( ) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently stayed Up for a while talking to someone you care about

SO FAR: 74

Level 24
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
( ) Had/Been In A Tree House
( ) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 76

Level 25
(x) Believed In Ghosts
(x) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
(x) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail

SO FAR: 79

Level 26
(x) Played Chicken
(x) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(x) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 84

Level 27
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video
(x) Caught A Butterfly
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 88

Level 28
(x) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name
(x) French Braided Someone's Hair
(x) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
( ) Tried to hurt yourself

SO FAR: 94

Level 29
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
(x) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
( ) Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 97

Level 31
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(x) Been Licked By A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone

SO FAR: 102

Level 106
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) Flattened someones tyres
( ) Rode your car/truck until the fuel light came on
( ) Got five quid or less worth of fuel

Total: 102

Monday, January 29, 2007


this is a post about sean. and the immense love that i have for sean. he is by far the nicest guy i have ever met, athough that doesnt mean much really since i tend to meet complete wankers. other than sean. um. he has very pretty hair and a nice sexy man body. and he is very very good at cuddles. although it is annoying when one wants cuddles and sean is naked. for as one is seans best friend one feels that hugging sean while he is naked is stepping over the boundaries a little. but never the less the cuddles are very good.

sean is my rock.

i do not know what i would do without my sean, well i do but i'd rather not think about it as it is too terrible to contemplate



Rough Sex Facts

Send this right after u read it, something good will happen at 2:25 tomorrow. Get ready for the biggest shock in your life!!
Whoever breaks this chain will be cursed w/ relationship problems 4-10 years.
If you send this in 15 mins. your safe. Something good will happen tonight at 11:11pm.
This is not a joke...someone will either call you or will talk to you online.

Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories.

Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.

Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

Take off her clothes
with her consent.........................12 cal
without......................187 cal

Him Take off your Bra
With two hands..........................8 cal
With one hand.........................12 cal
With mouth.............................85 cal

Put on Protection
hard ........................... 6 cal
soft..........................315 cal

Looking for target...................8 cal
Finding G spot ......................92 cal
I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal

on top..................12 cal
On the floor.................8 cal

With Different Position
Missionary..........................358 cal
Doggy...........................316 cal
69 lying...............................286 cal
69 standing.............................512 cal
Italian hanger.........................912 cal

Real................................112 cal
Faking................................315 cal

After "O"
Lying in Bed............................18 cal
Hop off the bed............................36 cal
Wondering why he left pissed off...........816 cal

Get dressed
Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
Rushing.........................98 cal
Heard his girlfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
Heard his mum at the door.............1942 cal
His dad walking in..............................Priceless!!!LOL



Saturday, January 27, 2007

only the clearest and best quality of my murals EVER!!!!


i do apologeise for my lack of posting, actually no i dont ive been busy! spent lke 10 hours on trains on tues and weds, and got stuck in liverpool street which sucked lol anyway..
i had my colposcopy last week (look it up i aint gonna explain it lol) and i still have abnormal cells :( gotta wait for the test results tho befor ei find out if they're worse or not tho so watch this space :S nah ill be fine i hope well i better be else frenchie will hurt me lol.
the shit hath hiteth the fan-eth with luctretia, between me n claire we have the entire set to paint! it gonna take at least 2 days barring mistakes with the spackling, and i have to do the lighting design, i have some ideas but nothig concrete yet, i jus need to sit down for an hour or so and go through it but i dont seem to have the time! and we have to make the plaques, and the sign which has to be punched and shatter without hurting Oli's hand!!!
on a lighter note i've come up with a nice political spin for my directing piece, its from The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood so therefore its a very feminist piece, about powerlessness and the like, so im gonna find some symbol of Burma (Myanmar) and the plight of their leader Aung Sang Su Kyi.
awesome but :)


Saturday, January 20, 2007

fantabulous new book

yes yes i know its been a while, but iv had loads of work to do! although now iv finished it, 4 modules done! aaaarrrrrgggghhhh hehe. not i get to work my arse off on Lucretia Borgia for the next 3 weeks, but that will be fun i reckon if hard work, i shud really re-read the script at some point and make some notes lol, ill do it on the train home on tues nod. anyway the main reason for this post is cos i have a fantabulous new book by the author of all authors, oh she of the amazing writing skills Tamora Pierce (i like her a little bit :)) its called Beka Cooper: Terrier, and its set 200 years before the Lioness books are set, so thers all these wonderful bits of history i recognise from those books (which are my ultimate favourite books no question about that since iv read them about 20 times over the last 7 years) anyway its written in the style of a diary, Beka's diary of her first few weeks as a Puppy in the Provosts Dogs, BUT finally i get to the point, this diary entry really reminded me of someone i knows blog...

"Saturday April 11, 246

I hate pidgeons with nothing new.
I hate the Cesspool.
I hate festering, ranky, puling, gob-clogging, sarden colds.
I hate dragging my sorry sniffling hacking bum through duty.
I love my warm soft cat.
I have good friends who bring me things.
I love my bed."

sounds like my darling sister :) oh and teh cat she refers too is the previous incarnation of Faithful, Alanna's cat in the Lioness books, who dies at the end and a new constellation is seen by the foot of the constellation known as "The Goddess" which was called "The Cat" well in this previous incarnation of faithful he is called Pounce, a name Raoul suggests for him when he first appears in Alanna, and one of Bekas friends points out that he may not be an ordinary cat as one of the "wandering" constellations known as "The Cat" has been invisible in the sky for the last 4 years (since Beka got him) coincedence ;)


Thursday, January 11, 2007

provided by my lush sister

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?

um i dunno lol teched my first show i guess

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

nope, to be honest i don't think i made any, i expect one was quit smoking tho so no lol

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?


4. Did anyone close to you die?

uncle eric did but i never really knew him, was still sad tho.

5. What countries did you visit?

Wales, Scotland n England (the most restricted iv been in a while!)

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?


7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

my 21st, and reading with padge was an awesome experience, that day in feb when i realised i was losing myself again.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

um i dunno gaining seans love i guess lol um getting 76% on a performance was pretty awesome too

9. What was your biggest failure?

i'd say i failed myself with the whole andy thing and the break down of my friendship with you know who

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

lol let me count... dysklary-whatsit, neck spasms-thus migranes and back aches, most recently a broken foot (which pip wants to take a tuning fork to.) oh and i had concussion a couple of times and my knee was a bit gay in april. oh yeah and theres the fun of IBS and my new physical reactions to stress

11. What was the best thing you bought?

i dunno lol probly my shuffle,

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

the sister of the big variety (she is much stronger than she appears :)) my dad - tho he may not have turned it around at least hes now coherent. sean for putting up with me and pip for just being amazing. and sarah french, for knowing me better than i know myself.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

fucking phoenix!!!!!!!!!!!!! some others but i wont name them.

14. Where did most of your money go?

shoes. and dvds. and gigs

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

not much really, seeing the goos in june was amazing tho

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

your asking me to pick a song?! ONE SONG!? um Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have With Her Clothes On - Panic at the Disco

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

happier or sadder?

about the same

thinner or fatter?

thinner, not good

richer or poorer?

so so much poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

singing and being happy

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?


20. What was your favorite TV program?

Lost id say

21. Do you dislike anyone now that you didn’t dislike this time last year?

See no.13

22. What was the best book you read?

Wicked and Son of a Witch by Gregory Macguire

23. What was your greatest musical discovery?

oooo thats a toss up between Panic at the Disco and The Feeling

24. What did you want and get?

recognition for my talents

25. What did you want and not get?

peace of mind

26. What was your favorite film of this year?

probably between V for Vendetta and Pirates

27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

i turned 21 and went out with my close mates at uni and got slaughtered (sean carried me home) and then 2 days later (my official birthday celebration) went out as a mechanic with some of my favourite friends from home and my favourite friends from uni glam (emma n beam r included in that even tho they didnt make it out cos they were dying of food poisoning)

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

if i'd managed to track down mr Bellamy at Reading festival and forced him to become my love slave.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

rock chic (emily style)

30. What kept you sane?

Sean, Pip, Frenchie, SarahG, my sister, Paulo and Padge. and of course and with my hat doffed my guiding light....Music.

31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

hrrrrrrmmmmm come close between David Tennant (when cockney) and John Barrowman.

32. What political issue stirred you the most?

not much really

33. Who did you miss?

andy, but thankfully only in the summer, george and my grandad

34. Who was the best new person you met?

yikes no idea probly Lucy, dont think i met her til after christmas

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006?

life is balance, if something is bad its because something good is either coming or has already occured

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Lostprophets:- Can't Catch Tomorrow (Good Shoes Won't Save You This Time)

One, two,
One, two, three, four...

I'm sure I've seen this look before
Done a thousand times and a million more
How many lies did he tell this time?
How many times did he cross the line?
It won't help me but I have to ask
Is there something real that's behind the mask?
Something true we don't know about?
A little faith in amongst the doubt

And maybe someday you will grow
Maybe someday you will know
Maybe someday you will end these tears and go

A little piece of me grows old
I keep on walking down this road
I've seen a million people change
but I will stay the same
And I know you, (Know you, know you)
always steal and borrow
And I know you, (Know you, know you)
Never catch, you're never gonna catch tomorrow

I'm sure I've played this scene before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I'm sure I used to hold your hand
Did I hurt you?
All this attitude with no history
All this anger when you're attacking me
Got a lot to learn and you need to know
That your time is up kid, let it go

Maybe someday you will grow
Maybe someday you will know
Maybe someday you will end these tears and go

A little piece of me grows old
I keep on walking down this road
I've seen a million people change
but I will stay the same
And I know you, (Know you, know you)
always steal and borrow
And I know you, (Know you, know you)
Never catch, you're never gonna catch tomorrow

Never gonna catch tomorrow

A little piece of me grows old
I keep on walking down this road
I've seen a million people change
but I will stay the same
And I know you, (Know you, know you)
always steal and borrow
And I know you, (Know you, know you)
Never gonna catch tomorrow

yeah the haircut's hot
But this has gotta stop
Good shoes won't save you this time
I think you're gonna find
With everything combined
that the time's running out of this line

And I know you, (Know you, know you)
always steal and borrow
And I know you, (Know you, know you)
Never catch, you're never gonna catch tomorrow

You actually like doing laundry at home where the washing
machines work.

Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

You'd rather clean than study especially if an essay is due.

"Oh shit how did it get so late!" comes out of your mouth at
least once a night.

Parents' cooking becomes something you desire, not avoid.

You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soap operas
especially neighbours and Hollyoaks.

You know the pizza boy by name and don't even need to read the

You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.

You live for getting mail.

Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.

Prank phone calls become funny again.

You start thinking and sounding like your friends and your
accent becomes a hybrid of West Country, Surrey and general

Highlighters are the coolest things on earth.

Rearranging your room is your favourite pastime.

Rubbish cheap £1 shops are so cool.

The weekend lasts from Thursday to Monday.


That it didn't matter how late my first lecture was, I'd still sleep
through it.

That I could change so much and barely realize it.

That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.

No matter how 'cool' you were in school, no one here cares.

That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so
dressed up.

That every clock on campus shows a different time.

That if you got good a-levels, so what? It doesn't matter here.

That I would go to a party the night before an exam or essay

That you can know everything and fail a test.

That you can know nothing and ace a test.

That I could get used to almost anything found out about my

That most of my education would be obtained outside of lectures.

That friendship is more than getting drunk together but that's
still funny......!

That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination.

That Psychology is really Biology, that Biology is really
Chemistry, that Chemistry is really Physics and that Physics is
really Maths.

That my parents would become so much smarter in the last few

That it's possible to be alone even when you are surrounded by

Don't be dismayed at good-byes, a farewell is necessary before
we can meet again, and meeting again, after moments or a
lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.

10. You cry for your mother.
9. You cross the street without looking for cars.
8. Snack time is a necessity.
7. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look
like (because everyone else looks as stupid as you do).
6. You stay at home and play games with your friends.
5. You wear your backpack on both shoulders.
4. You wear big mittens.
3. Playing in the snow is a legitimate activity.
2. You take naps.
1. You look forward to cheese toasties.

Monday, January 08, 2007

urrrrm an update on me i guess.

christmas hols were a lot of fun and i'm now back in the Valleys! went to Daves for new years with frenchie and drank a lot of wine then spent the three days before i came back to uni watchin desperate housewives lol gotta love azureus u can download anythin!
so our house was bloody freezin for the first few days i was here and its been a mixed time of hard work and chillin in front of the tele with pip, i've really enjoyed jus loungin about with her drinking when tony montana says "fuck" or when a person dies/evidence is found on CSI tho i must say 3 hours of CSI nearly had me climbing the walls!

design work is all done and shiny in a sketchbook with black pages and white writing! (oh how alternative) just the Themes essay to finish for this week then its all about the Photography work as i still have 2 pics and a portfolio to produce for next week! woo woooooo

um i dunno um yeh im very boring!

tara for now, hopefully somethin interestin will happen soon


Saturday, January 06, 2007

Scottie Mac..

..just managed to sum me up perfectly as no one else ever has lol
i know your a dork who just parties harder than anyone else i know, is loud and obnocious some times but is just so sweet and kind hearted that it makes puppies and ice cream look hard as nails. plus your a really tops at cuddles

ooo i feel all warm and fuzzy :)


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

maybe John wright was right about delta all those years ago, i wonder where he is, and if hes grown a bit lol